Girl in Foreign Land: Chapter 4- The Departure

mixed feelings

It was a moment of mixed feelings. Departing from your family, your home, your city, your country is sad. I am about to leave behind all those things which have been the very existence of myself for the past two decades. All of it, in a quest to achieve new dreams and travel new boundaries. I would be fulfilling a promise which I had made to myself in the 3rd standard.

Therefore behind the obvious gloom, there was a steady stream of excitement flowing vigorously through my bloodline. I am finally going abroad for higher studies. This was on my agenda from high school, I may say. But currently, what kept me exhilarated was that I would be flying on an international flight for the first time. And guess the destination? To EUROPE! Isn’t this a dream of many people. I am living it finally.

As I stated earlier, it was a moment of mixed feelings. Hence, even though the excitement was alluring the sadness of leaving everything behind was powerful. It has bothered me for the last few months. I knew that this was the last time I would be staying in Kolkata for so long. I would be back for vacations but not for a long duration maybe. This is the last time that the four of us i.e my father, mother, brother and myself would be staying together. We will go on holidays and visit each other as often as possible. However, we may not stay together as a family for a long period of time as we have been doing for the past two decades. My brother would have a life of his own and me, a, life of mine.

These thoughts saddened me, filled me with an inconsolable misery and dismay. That morning when I woke up from ‘my’ bed, took a bath in ‘my’ bathroom, combed my hair looking through ‘my’ mirror and got ready in ‘my’ home for a journey that would take me to the other end of the world; I wore a stoic look. I purposely did not register any kind of thoughts or emotions in my mind. It would make me sad. As the car drove towards the airport, I fixed my eyes outside the window on the morning scenes from the streets of Kolkata, trying to take in as much as possible to last me through the next year. My family was with me to see me off. They were quiet too.

Finally, we reached the airport. Previously the airport had always brought with it excitement. I would be travelling to a new destination, mostly for a vacation with my family. This time it brought fear and sorrow. Mounting the luggage on the trolley, waving a moderate goodbye at my family, I towed the trolley towards the glass doors and into the airport. I could see tears in their eyes and knew that if I stood there a moment longer, I would start crying myself. So a short goodbye seemed best.

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